Single's Big Brother?

Ok, so I haven't had any dates. I've been too busy to date. I've been so busy that all I really want to do is slide into a self-induced coma for a week. And it's not happening. BUT.....

Firstly, the potential. We'll call him 'Matty'. He could be Mr September. If I WANT a Mr September.... But.... what does this guy want? Seriously. His emails are two words. His first email said 'You are one hot mama'. What am I, 40? THEN he leaves his number and a two word 'Call me'. Who are you? And why? Effort and men..... I think I like to be a little spoilt. I like THEM to make the effort. It's the done thing. I can't be the hunter. So...... maybe.... unless there is a comment to the contrary.... I will ignore the opportunity.

And... on missed opportunities....Speed dating organisation..... Thanks for the email. Single's Big Brother sounds kinda fun.... But it kills me to say no. It's not because my mother won't support it. It's my stupid career. And then there are the fanciful delusions of grandeur. Of people LOVING my blog. Of people actually KNOWING about my blog. And the possibilities of a gig in the media spotlight. I've always wanted that. My only talent is my quirkiness, but sometimes that is enough.

So, delving into the Single's Big Brother... The clauses in the waivers are kinda scary (about making stuff up about me) and..... my career could be compromised if I do this. I really do love my job. And it's a risk that probably won't even pay off.... The application is filled in.... But it won't get sent off. Just like the 'drunken' out there messages that were in my inbox, addressed to my former crush that were deleted and never sent. I'm making a decision. I don't necessarily like the decision, but it's a choice nonetheless. Now my ex-boyfriend's words ring in my ears 'TAKE RISKS' and I wonder- am I choosing for myself or for others???? I'm a yes person. I have intent. I also have courage. But, atop the list there is intellect. I am deciding that while my former crush would have appreciated the messages, for a girl with any kind of attraction, nothing good can come of a flirtatious player that hasn't had a relationship in 6 years. And, *sigh* nothing good can come of the teenagers I work with seeing me interact with (and shut down) members of the opposite sex on a television. *sigh* The love of my life. He COULD be in that house. Unlikely, yes. But...... possible?!?!?!????!!