Weddings are lovely things. Even when parents are pending separation or when the inner realist peruses the room for any twenty-something divorcees. And yes, I have even been to a wedding where we knew it would never last, and people were actually making bets as to it's expiration date, but I cannot deny the fact that such sham weddings are also incredibly fun.
As for my friend, her's was a real wedding, one that's meant to last if you know what I mean, but I am going for the generalisation that there is something magical about them- even more so when they are one of your best friends.
And as much as I cried tears of happiness at my beautiful friend walking down the aisle with her husband looking at her with excitement and hope and all of that other stuff..... The dance floor at the wedding resembled a grade six disco. It was a little sad. The oldies were coupled up and dancing a little but us young-uns? The grooms friends were on one side and the brides on the other. Not that there was a lot of talent, but it's a wedding and it's time to be joyful and talk to strangers, united in happiness and a desire for fun. Having said this, the music WAS circa Gold 104, and I don't know. Maybe that had something to do with it?
Of course, disappointment mounts when drink service stops at 4.30 and no one tells you. And it gets a little interesting when you are sloshed and the bride asks you to organise the official after party..... And only the grooms friends want to attend.
So, Soleil ventures out- lone representative of the bride's, she hatches the plan and everyone seems quite happy, she's ALSO convinced by a complete stranger that she too will be there to represent sisterhood and relieve Soleil from the cockforest that awaits. The chick bails and the function now consists of me, the chick's boyfriend and three single guys who couldn't stop ogling at me the entire night.
Now, at different phases of the night, each one of the guys pulled moves on me. It's entirely possible that this also included the guy with the girlfriend- which is awful, but now I am completely sold on spray tans because I obviously looked so amazing!
Anyway, lets name these guys and relay the story. The one with the girlfriend, he's Alpha Romeo, metro-sexual and loyal member of the Liberal Party. The first one to have a crack, half Sri Lankan and half South African, we will call him The Vuvuzela. The second little piggy to reveal interest and try the touching technique, we will call Leprechaun as he was short and his surname was O'something.... And the final little piggy, who tried to kiss me and wanted to know what he was doing wrong when I pulled away..... we will name him Floyd.
The way I see it, it was very much like a bad soccer match, not only did I NOT understand the rules, but these guys, on Team Male, didn't seem to know about unity..... Or maybe they did and they wouldn't have minded as long as one of them scored the goal. Scoring with me. And yes, it was obvious they were all trying to score. ALLLLL glory hogs. There were too many players in this soccer match that were trying to do the same thing. Where was the goalie? Was Alpha Romeo the goalie? OK. So the goalie was there, trying to level with my feminine charms that had the others bewitched. But the missing person? The coach. There was no coach. There was no one asking me what I thought of who and what my intentions were. There was no one helping them to work as a team. And me? I have no need nor inclination for a hack like this.
Vuvezela tried to get me in a taxi in my own to the venue in the first place. Crafty! In the end my friend drove us. He was definitely interested. Leprechaun, the best man who has recently split from a cheating fiance, walked past the club where all his friends were while we were chatting about something obscure. Then I had to order him to call his friends and ask where we were going. We ended up in Maccas for a while and his friends were all a little suspicious as to why we were gone a long time. The thing is, I revealed a little bit of myself when I said- I flirt happily with people I am not interested in (YOU THREE) and show my awesome personality quite freely, but when I actually fancy a guy, I seize up. Considering my confidence, it was obvious I was playing all three of them. And I was going to win this game. Floyd came straight out and said he liked me. He has dated my friend. Without those two my friend would not have gotten married because it is through those two that they met. His ex-girlfriend was at the club too which was strange. And I don't know..... to me he just wasn't that cool. He was the pick of the bunch, certainly. But not cool.
And I thought to myself (yes.... thinking. You can always beat a group of males through the power of thought) if I hooked up with any of these guys, there is a lasting tie there. Do I want it there? For lasting relationships, apparently this is the way to meet people. And maybe that's all too serious for me. But, the issues about this situation in general are twofold:
1) The whole pack wanted me. Role-reversal: As a female with dignity, I wouldn't want a guy that everyone else wanted. I would step aside and let them have a crack if they wanted. Even if I ADORED the guy. Because cat fighting is not my thing and I prefer to maintain friendships. Friends stick by you when relationships turn to shit. Therefore, friend trumps guy. Pure and simple. And I know that some people don't deal if you are successful and they are not. It's an ego deflater for them. So.... I figure I was put into an awkward situation. And I don't know the psychology of guys. I don't know if what I thought only applies to girls but I was NOT going to break up any friendship groups.
2) Maybe there is no 2. I just wrote something and it was absolutely ridiculous about the mutual friend thing. It's nonsense. What is, sadly, not so ridiculous to me was that I was completely comfortable around these guys. They were fun and I was myself. That means that *sigh* I didn't like any of them. The Floyd one was the pick of the bunch, but sometimes those Aldi grapes are all undersized and squishy.
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