Overload

I said December boys had an amnesty and I will stay true to my word. The problem is, December was such a blur that I don't think I will do it justice. Edwardo was still there, there was a speed dating night where half the participants wanted a date with yours truly and my friend took home the organizer. And.... There were others.

Now it's 2011 and my kissing slutiness has come to the fray. 5 pashes in 8 days. I'm sure there are many out there who have surpassed this and my hats go off to you. So... Who were these guys and did any of them call?

#1: New year's pash

I was at a rock concert with my friends and I shocked them with the knowledge that I have never pashed a random at new years. My bestie scoured the crowd and used the line 'my friend needs a new years pash but if you don't want her, I will be happy to oblige.' Smooth! :-p

So there I was, in my dreadlock wig pashing with no other intention. Who knows how old he was. Who knows his name. And.... The feeling was gone. It was an empty pash. A waste of time. I should have given him to my friend instead.

#2: Friend pash

I won't talk too much about this one. It wasn't bad and I've done it before. It confuses the shit out of me. It cannot be- I don't know why he keeps trying!?

#3: Three pashes in one weekend. The first we will call Blue as he is a jock and Blues supporter. I was out with a friend to meet her new beau. He had a friend called Blue. Blue liked singing karaoke- which I love. He studied what I studied at uni- which meant he had brains. I ended up at his. He dropped me off via cab at the station that afternoon. He didn't drive me home. He complained that I just lived too far away. I distanced myself from him in the morning. There were some health issues he had and it makes me sound like a bitch for writing him off got that... But while macking... I couldn't work out whether or not he was attractive to me. He would say 'why the face, kiddo?' and... Like I was going to say anything!

#4 and #5: Same night, same bar.

One looked like River Phoenix. He grew up in a hippie commune. He was interesting. Art teacher. Told me about the cult he was in, how his parents gave him the hallucinogenic drug talk at 15 by giving details of their bad trips, and he seemed to have fantastic musical taste- the pick of the month so far in terms of guys. He was quite young- but he was an alright kisser- not the best but alright. Now, while we were pashing, the guy who had his eyes on me all night cracked the shits. River laughed and kissed me again. My friend thought the jealous guy was a better match for me, so she performed an Oscar winning role as placator.

Mr Jealous unbuttoned his shirt. He wanted to show me that he had sewn the buttons on himself. A Welsh English teacher, Mr Jealous was different once I had kissed River. He was really annoyed. His music taste was also exceptional. Even better than River's on parts- but he liked some stuff that I loathe like Devendra Banheart (damn autocorrect!). He told me about the Melvins concert- I might have to go. He also shared the knowledge of the FIB festival in Spain. I'm now dying to go. We kissed- but it reminded me of the new years kiss- forced. The heart was not all in. He wanted to come home with me. It didn't happen. The kiss was half-arsed.

I didn't get digits because I didn't ask. Blue never called but that makes it easy for me and now, now i have a sore throat. Better not be anything sinister. Maybe I deserve it.