It’s time. Actually, it’s overdue. Time to review my list. A lot like the old list, with only a few alterations.
THE PERFECT MAN FOR ME IS/HAS:
Cute- inside and out
•A Gentleman. Confident when talking to girls- but not so confident that I will think he has a Monday, Wednesday and Friday girlfriend and not openly crude about others. I don’t want to be slagged off after I dump your ass.
•Chilled out, open to new ideas. Doesn't freak out at the drop of a hat. Tries to get me to see the lighter side if I ever start to panic. “OK, so we have three minutes until the world ends. Let’s use it wisely!” ;-)
•Good looking. I like boyish faces and skinniness. Guys that own at least one designer label in their wardrobes. And no, I don’t care if an ex-girlfriend bought this for them. She taught my boyfriend that thing I like? I don't care, he's mine now, bi-atch!
•Is himself. The fact that I find him tolerable is enough here. This means that he is honest and doesn’t spin shit to sound more impressive than he actually is. This is one of the reasons I worry about short guys. They are like little yappy dogs. Shorties, look in the mirror and accept yourself for what you are. Chihuahuas. Hey, plenty of girls love them. Look at Paris Hilton. If you want your trophy wife, go for it. But I'm no trophy and you're no German Shepherd!
•Thinks I’m a good sort. I’m nobody’s pity date! I'm not a 'she'll do for now'. If I am, he's after a trophy. That's not cool.
•Appreciation: shows me that he cares every now and again. Nothing over the top- I would be SO turned off by a suck, but initiative. I LOVE initiative. GUYS: It’s not that I have an expectation- but do stuff without me having to ask and not expecting thanks and I WILL jump you.
•Cares for my safety and well-being. Will go and check strange noises outside or offer a plausible explanation and comforting arms so that I feel safe at night. I understand this is easier said than done.
What will actually happen:
Guy: “What’s that! I heard a noise!”
Soleil: “You wuss! I’ll go and check it ou- Aww.... It was just the dog farting!”
•Is motivating. A neater person would inspire me to be neater. A healthier person would inspire me to be healthy. A good role model. Motivating might simply mean walks the dog with me every day. This doesn’t mean this guy is not lazy- he probably is.... But he prioritises his health and reputation is all....
•Creative and a little random. Appreciates my quirks.
Smart
•Good with his hands, capable of doing handyman work. If not capable, can and WILL call someone who is. Passing it off as his own work is fine- how am I gonna know? I don't care, as long as it gets done!
•Intelligent- capable of a philosophical (sometimes about ridiculous shit) conversation. Example discussion: Gaudi’s cathedral is incomplete, but unfinished. Sometimes there is more mystery in things that are left unfinis----
• Accepts certain undeniable facts. For instance, that I am the ONLY person who can get Lenny (my dog) to do ANYTHING!
Fun
• Confident and independent. NOT clingy. If he can hold his ground when I leave him stranded at an engagement party where he has never met anyone before, PERFECT! I am no good at introductions.
• Funny- dark, sophisticated humour...
• Accepts me for me and actually wants to share in my adventures rather than staying in front of the TV his whole life. Doesn’t look at me silly if I want to go to the drive-in, sing karaoke in Japanese, even if we have never actually heard the songs before or want to help Tuvalu by booking a ridiculously expensive trip to one of the world’s sinking countries- even if there is actually nothing to see there.
• Likes music/ to go to DECENT concerts. Never liked Milli Vanilli and believes Lady GaGa is over-rated (Because she is). Would support me if I decided to leave a venue due to its shitty music. Some disagreements are fine, but for the most part, there aren’t many disagreements on movies watched and CDs/MP4s played.
The criteria I am ditching:
• Has a clue what to do with money.
I am ditching this one because:
If he lets ME manage the money, everything will be fine. No Paul Robinsons allowed. Give ME the bank details!
• Likes family and friends
I am ditching this one because:
People sometimes clash. He just has to accept that I am happy with my favourite people and I will need to spend time with them (not to mention my other hobbies) over him- often leaving him to his own devices. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The most affectionate words I may ever utter are “Piss off and get your own life!” Actually, if I have to say these words- he’s a goner!
No comments:
Post a Comment