My dating life is now a game show.

Three potential candidates and one pretty girl. It feels like a game show. Who will Soleil pick....


Well..... now I have three candidates for a date. And a cyber-stalker that won't go away! How did bad shoes boy find my internet profile? UGH!

There is also one guy who wanted to date me last year through the particular dating site that I subscribe to, gave me his phone number and I never called. I thought not calling was an indication of how keen I was on the guy. I really did. Am I wrong? I just don't understand guys. I didn't lose his number. Who does? People just don't call and that's cool. Just accept it and MOVE ON- bad shoes boy. UNDERSTAND?

For those of you who don't know, on this particular website, people pay money to contact one another. That contact lasts for a month and then that person is blocked again. So, the guy who I ignored, is at it again! He wants his date! *Sigh*.... And now..... back to the story.

OK. Contestant number one: According to the email, he has read my profile and responded by trying to point out common ground. To add some context here, my profile reads: "If you love walks along the beach and snuggling up with a glass of wine by the fire and other cliched stuff, things are going to work out fine." Contestant number one states that he loves strolls along the beach and glasses of red wine too. Nothing else. That's it. This guy really lacks substance.

Commentary: My profile is a joke. When I say I like walks along the beach, well maybe I do, but my profile is a JOKE. You are supposed to get that when I write 'AND OTHER CLICHED STUFF' I am taking the piss! My whole profile is a pisstake. If you aren't smart or funny enough to work that out, then you are not for me. NEXT!

Contestant number two: Misspelt my name in the email. Erm..... FAIL! Also mentions something about the beaches and the wine. AND I DON'T EVEN LIKE WINE! My profile is not supposed to be an opener. Cliches are cliched. I am supposed to be giving off the vibe in my email that I am more complex than that! These guys have just wasted $10 on emailing me because I REALLY don't want to date them. *Twinge of guilt* Nevertheless, contestant two has a little more substance. He put down that his favourite book is Grug. I put down Little Miss Sunshine and Mr Nonsense. So, we ARE on the same wavelength there, even if Grug is a little too hairy for my liking! He has proper hobbies too. He travels, plays guitar (I LOVE that!) and rides his bike (Each to their own) So..... contestant number two has some good points and if there was a free holiday in it for me from the crew at Perfect Match, then maybe I would contemplate the date.

Contestant number three: Has great taste in music. That's why I raised an eyebrow. He has a drink in his hand on his profile pic. So too do I. How cliched of me! It TOTALLY goes with my O.T.T profile! But maybe it sucks in the doofuses too. OK. Back to business. Number three. He didn't spell my first name incorrectly (That's because he doesn't know it yet) BUT he did spell a few words incorrectly, he didn't use capital letters.... OK... so neither does my sister and she is intelligent with way too many university degrees and letters at the end of her name (I love you, sis!). But.... this guy doesn't have a single university degree or diploma to his name and has a crappy job selling car parts. And....the worst part is.... I hate myself for saying it.... He has a child. A three year old. People who have children need love too and that is why I thought I would give him a chance. I have single mum friends and I want them to end up with someone nice too, so in thinking about them I thought maybe I could do it. Me. Soleil. Free spirit extraordinaire. The woman of a million dreams and nothing to hold her back. I was SO deluded. I can't do it. Maybe if he could spell I would have entertained the thought. But it wasn't meant to be. It says so in my checklist. You've all read it. Again..... my online profile. People can't understand sarcasm. "R ewe a cwap speeelar????" When I say that, I am taking the piss. It is so over the top, how could it not be? When boys think I am serious, it causes their IQ drop a good 25 points and.... with that... they drop out of my league. *waves goodbye* Actually, it would be WAY more fun to push them into the pool- Man-O-Man style.

So.... who to pick? If I have to..... If Perfect Match is going to shout the holiday and the champagne for me to skull in the hope that it will numb the pain..... Contestant number 2. But he has facial hair.... like Grug. And.... in my current state of fatigue, do I really need an April date?